The closing lines from the poem, Who are You? read: “When standing in our own company with no one else around, and looking inside: what then have we found? There’s only the past with its pains and glories too: will we be content with ourselves so true? Or shall we seek to create all new? ‘I’ll not be me, yes, that’s what I’ll do.’ When the ball drops and we see whether we measure up to par, I wonder who really knows just who they are.”
The year was 2014 and James King, a student in Grand Rapids, Michigan, was minding his own business walking down the street on his way to work. According to Fox 17, two men suddenly approached him and asked his name, which he shared.
They then demanded he remove what was in his back pocket, which happened to be his wallet. Judging from their threatening tone and aggressive posture, he quickly came to the conclusion that he was being mugged.
In response, James took flight, attempting to escape by running for cover. The men gave chase, eventually tackling and beating him severely as he tried to fight them off. What followed next was his arrest by these same men.
As it turned out, the men were plain clothes officers, one a local detective and the other a FBI agent, members of a joint State and Federal fugitive task force. After being wounded and incarcerated, his rights clearly violated, it was discovered that James King was completely innocent. He simply had the same name as the suspect for which the officers were looking and had become the victim of mistaken identity.
Bystanders recorded the incident on video and called 911 because, by all appearances, James was being violently assaulted. Although he was not a fugitive wanted for any crimes, James was charged with three felonies as a result of this encounter, including “resisting arrest” and “assault on an officer.”
After rejecting a plea deal, he took his case to trial and was ultimately acquitted. He then filed a civil lawsuit against the officers but they claimed the defense of “qualified immunity.” The actual fugitive was later caught in 2015 but, as of 2020, James and his attorney are still fighting in the courts, hoping to hold the officers accountable for their actions.
Whether or not you believe the police in question were justified isn’t the focus of this story. Rather, what is of immediate concern is the importance of identity. As in this case, without it, there’s no difference between a 21-year-old student and a hardened criminal. What if this had been you?
Worse yet, what if this is happening to you in ways you’ve yet to recognize? We all start off in life as children, wide-eyed with wonder and imagining limitless opportunities. We dream of being firemen or artists or astronauts or athletes, launching us into playful fantasies and fun costumes. But, over time, we often fail to fan the flames of those desires and we don’t follow the paths that could turn our visions into reality.
Later, as adults, we begin our careers passionately seeking to make a difference in our field. Maybe that means helping patients or building architectural marvels or protecting communities. But, over time, we get distracted. We get sidetracked. We get burnt out. And so we forget who we were, who we are.
So many times, in so many ways, we lose ourselves. The dismal descent into forgetting who we are is a slow and gradual process. It happens so invisibly that we become numb and unaware it is even occurring. But are there not mile markers along this path that we ignore?
Indeed there are. Sign posts like forgetting where we came from, forgetting the forces or people around us that shaped our lives. Ignoring our secret desires and motivations, allowing the energetic spark of purpose fade into mundane routine. Seeking validation from external sources and allowing other people’s opinions, wishes, and demands to steer us from our course. All these are the markers that reveal we have strayed from our identity and become…something else entirely.
If we are ever to find our way back then we must reach deep inside ourselves and recognize who we are, in our core. Remember your vision. Find it again, we must. Otherwise, we risk drifting through this precious gift called life separated from the inner longings and purpose for which we were made.
We must commit to never allow others to fool us nor us to fool ourselves. This kind of integrity and honesty can be painful. Ripping the roots of weeds foreign to our garden from the soil of our hearts is gut-wrenching, but it must be done. We may have to sacrifice comfort, money, and even relationships that are incongruent with our identity in order to preserve it.
Think back to when you were your truest self if you sense this phenomena of mistaken identity is happening now in your life. Walking in your character and expressing your real personality is more than a necessity, it is a calling.
Remember that this is not about the outward things we do, the car we drive, the friends we have, the job we perform. It is about the deep values and natural abilities we have been given and our choice to exercise them. It’s about who we really are.
Although it is easy to think so, our choices are not simply a means to an end. Our decisions to speak here and be silent there, to press toward this and to hide from that are merely the outflowing of our essence, or at least they should be.
If this is not the case, then perhaps you’ve forgotten your identity. If so, it is very likely that the inner conflict this creates (even if hidden behind the realm of your consciousness) is causing you fatigue, stress, and discouragement. Take heart. You can return.
The first step is recognizing your purpose and the unique facets of your makeup that were designed to bring it to pass. Accepting this truth and walking in it is a conscious choice you have to make. If you can do so, then all other life decisions will unfold before you with a clarity that dissipates blurry vision like smoke blown by the wind.
You must remain steadfast to this choice. A Jedi knight does not struggle with a decision of whether or not he should act in accordance with the dark side or the light. He knows who he is and his path is clear. Life is filled with temptations to deviate from your path but knowing who you really are defends against them all.
In the movie A Knight’s Tale, Heath Ledger’s character, William, reaches a point when it is discovered that he, a peasant by birth, had been posing as someone of noble blood. Facing the consequences of being punished for this, he is encouraged by his friends and loved ones to run and hide, living the rest of his life as a poor commoner rather than being held in the stocks for declaring he is something more.
It is at this point that his true compass points north and his real identity rises up within him. He declares to them, “No, I will not run…I’m a knight.” He leans in to who he really is regardless of outward appearances and, as a result, that is exactly what he becomes.
You can never be something other than how you see yourself. A person who has set their identity as that of a follower will never lead. If you believe you are poor, broken, sick, victimized, worthless, ugly, abandoned, or any other negative thing then that is how you will live. You will fulfill your own prophecy. Every choice you make will flow from what you hold to in your core.
But you don’t have to accept the labels given to you by others or even by your own past. Your most powerful weapon is the ability to decide who you are. You may choose what you value and what you believe. This is the wellspring of your identity and from it flow your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Are you allowing your identity to be shaped by how others see you, by how society or your friends and family see you, or is your identity determined by what you know to be true in your heart? Children dream and laugh and play and believe with incredible confidence and joy because they know who they are and have not yet been jaded by the doubts and fears and sorrows of a world that seeks to impose its will, its definitions, and its restrictions upon them.
So, as the years pass, children gradually become who they believe they are, whether good or bad. Where has this journey left you? Do you know who you are and are you walking in it? If not, then perhaps the time has come to choose your identity and align it with your inner calling. Reject the false persona you’ve begrudgingly yielded to and tear off the mask that you present to the world in vain hopes of an approval they cannot give.
Surrender to the Source and work hard to ensure your values and beliefs are aligned. Then you will know the freedom of authenticity, clarity, and strength. Then you will experience the joyful excitement of living each day with purpose. Rediscover your identity and fulfill it. When you do, you’ll find yourself…and your destiny.
Until next time, don’t just be transformed: be Kinged.
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