Are you considering taking a leap into the unknown and making a bold decision about your future? Whether this decision has to do with your career, your relationships, your business, or your personal life, just remember: a ship in harbor is safe…
This dashing figure sitting near the captain’s wheel is my brother, Jacob. That’s my water bottle to his left, holding my place as I snapped this picture. It was important to mark my spot there since behind us was a party of 30 celebrities, supermodels, and company executives.
Okay, actually that’s not true. It was just us on a yacht in the tranquil waters of the marina. We’d been having a serious heart-to-heart about life and love and the struggles of what it means to be a loving father in our post-modern world.
Listening to water lap against the hull while boats bobbed nearby and the occasional birdcall filled the air proved to be a tranquil contrast to our deep thoughts. And so it was we found ourselves watching the sun set as the summer vacationers headed along the boardwalk toward their rented condos for dinner or else geared up for the nightlife that was to come.
It was difficult for us to find the time for such conversations amid our hectic lives, so this moment is precious to me. I don’t think we solved the world’s problems or unraveled the mysteries of nature vs. nurture but, in the end, it was great to catch up and just hang out.
Now, this is the part where I bust you out a bit, bro, so I’ll apologize in advance. Although close brothers, Jake and I are very different. He’s a little ADD, me mostly OCD. Prone to random acts and chasing thoughts like rabbits, Jacob is a free spirit. He struggles to focus in at times and instead flows with the moment. On the other hand, my detail-oriented laser-like precision is a constant propellant of my ambitious nature. I struggle to relax and gear down. You could say we balance each other well.
After high school, we both took very different paths. I pursued higher education, began my practice, and then advanced into a corporate career. He stayed close to home and surfed the local restaurants and retail stores. I bought a sports car and then a Mercedes; he a motorcycle and then a jeep. I donned a suit and he a pair of sandals.
We both started families but my focus was on long-term achievement and striving for maximum impact. Jake was content to remain in the now, savoring moments as they occurred and embracing whatever came into view over his handlebars. In many ways, we both enjoyed the best each of our lives had to offer but neither of us were immune to setbacks, stress, or hardship.
I grumbled at delayed gratification while sitting before board exams and slowly building a 401K. Meanwhile, he huffed when bills mounted and opportunities for advancement seemed out of reach. But we could both be found at the ends of the couch, slow walking our mother’s ridiculously heavy furniture into the moving truck when she relocated due to work or simply wanting a change of scenery.
We stood together around the grill, flipping burgers and dreaming of the future at family cookouts. More than once, we crashed into the floor, each striving to be the victor of our impromptu wrestling match. And we held each other as tears flowed in the midst of shattering relationships or the heartache of hope deferred.
One thing we definitely had in common was a fierce spirit and the willpower to press through obstacles, finding creative solutions to our problems. Granted, our methods were quite different, but results were obtained all the same. Our most important quality was the ability to shake off paralyzing fear, transforming setbacks into opportunities.
Psychologically speaking, fear is a mechanism designed to perpetuate survival. That knot in our gut exists to drive us toward safe choices, to avoid risk, to perpetuate the status quo. While this is, at times, quite necessary (why walk through the dark tunnel when you can easily go around?), it can also be a hindrance to growth. Often, the greatest treasure is found in the belly of that foreboding tunnel, overlooked by souls too fearful to brave its depths.
Particularly in the realm of business, risk is requisite. Even in the seemingly “small things” in life, a certain amount of intestinal fortitude is necessary to grasp achievement. Those who are too scared to ask that pretty girl out onto the dancefloor are doomed to stand against the gym walls nursing their cup of punch. The problem is our perceptions.
Excessive caution sees only the negative consequences of a potential action that may or may never materialize in the future. In this regard, much of our fear is irrational and, as such, isn’t real or worthy of consideration. This is not to say that danger is an illusion. No, danger is very real; but calculated risks optimize one’s chances of success while minimizing calamity. If these risks are never taken, failure is guaranteed.
So, back to me and Jake. I took the safer route: financial frugality, career diligence, safe investments, and the delayed gratification this entails. Owning a yacht was a possibility, but enjoying it could only occur far in the future.
Jake took a job at the marina. He spent the summer in cargo shorts and sunglasses, gallivanting up and down the boardwalk, rubbing elbows with the wealthy and elite. During the day, they took him out on the water, where he scanned the rolling horizon with the wind in his hair. At night, he hung by the bar and listened to the DJ rocking the dancefloor.
Now, Jacob didn’t own a yacht, but the route he chose and the risks he took awarded him the same advantages as one who held the keys. Perhaps one day we’ll go out on my yacht and enjoy the fruits of the risks I have taken. Time will tell.
Whatever the case, in life and in business, no one gets to ride the waves or steer the wheel unless they’re willing to see their dream, step out of their comfort zone, and do whatever it takes to make it happen. Fear will never lead you to achievement.
And it may be that the risks you have taken end up being the blessings others enjoy, which brings me back to the photo of me and Jake on this yacht. A ship in harbor is safe…but that’s not what ships are made for.
Until next time, don’t just be transformed: be Kinged.
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